We did it!

Well, I hit my pledges goal this past weekend! Yay! Thanks so much you guys!


Now I am extra pumped to get my runs in (I have three monthly mileage pledges) and to rock the Destin half (I have three race pledges as well)... which is in less than 2 weeks!!


I've learned from my last half, so the things I'll be sure not to do this time around are:

- Going out too fast.  I pushed to the point of getting a side stitch before the first half mile... looking back, I don't think I ever recovered from that.

- Pushing too much too soon. This goes hand in hand with the first point; once I felt "warmed up" I pushed way too much, especially since I was still over a mile away from the halfway point.

-Inadequate sun protection. I had a hat... and that was it. No sunscreen so my skin got pretty toasted.

-Not hydrating well/electrolyte balancing. I took in zero electrolytes and I suffered for it later that day when I started to feel really ill.

- Not timing gels well. I waited way too long to eat my first gel, which led to me eating a lot of gels really close together, which didn't feel great.

-Not peeing before hand. Pretty self explanatory.


I'm hoping to do better on all of these in Destin. Will that lead to a noticeably better performance? Who knows, but I certainly hope so!

Another week done

I had planned to run a 9 mile long run today, but I got started later than I anticipated, I was unfamiliar with the route I was running so I kept stopping/turning around, so I ended up cutting it short and only doing 6 miles, mostly because I was getting too hot.

I still managed 21 miles for this week, which I am definitely proud of.


Speaking of mileage... I'm still looking for THREE more people to sign up to pledge a donation based either on my upcoming race (fill out this form HERE) or based on my weekly or monthly mileage (fill out this form HERE)

If I can get those three more people (I'm going for FIVE in total and I already have two), then I will make a donation myself worth 50% of the total amount of those five people's donations!


So if you haven't already, please sign up! And feel free to check the "about" page above for info on what kind of thank you perks you can earn as a supporter!

Treadmill progression run

I took yesterday off because I knew I wanted to do some form of speed work on the treadmill today (I was once very good at pacing, but during my last pregnancy I lost that skill, so I've been utilizing the treadmill in our fitness center here at our apartment complex to help me get back into knowing what different paces feel like)... I decided on a short progression run.

I warmed up at an easy pace for one mile, the dialed into my first progression mile at a 9:23 pace (fast runners, please don't cringe or laugh too hard at the fact that these paces were actually a pretty decent challenge for me... I've lost a LOT in the way of speed since before I got pregnant with my youngest), then did my second mile at 8:57, and my final progression mile at 8:34, then an easy cool down.


So for my last run of March I did a 5 miler, bringing my March total for Miles for Mothers (remember that this "month" didn't start until the 21st) to 20 miles even!

So now, if you go to the form for pledging a mileage-based donation (which you can see HERE) you have the option to sign up for this current week and for the month of April! You can also pledge a donation based on my upcoming race (the Destin Half) HERE, or you can make a one time non-pledge donation HERE


I still only have one pledge so far, so please SIGN UP! Not only would you be making a difference for moms struggling with postpartum mood disorders, but you'll also get a THANK YOU from me (and possibly a thank you GIFT, depending on how much you donate!)

Yep, it's all in the "About" page up there, but here's the part about how to earn a THANK YOU GIFT:

"People who make one time donations will be listed on my supporters list on this blog, as will people who pledge donations based on my mileage/races. There are three levels of supporters. The bottom level (any donation amount) is the Bronze Level, the mid level (total amount of donations from one time and pledged amounts is at least $100) is the Silver Level, and the top level (for those whose total amount of donations including one time and pledged amounts total at least $200) is the Gold Level.
Bronze supporters will receive a virtual thank you message at the end of the current campaign (for this one, that is on June 19). Silver supporters will receive a mailed hand written thank you card and small token. Gold supporters will receive a small gift pack as a thank you.

There is also a special Mile Markers list reserved for those who donate over $150 in pledged donations for my weekly/monthly mileage. Mile Markers will receive a specific thank you gift."

Yep, so go ahead and pledge a donation or just make a one time donation (or maybe... do both? Doing both would be pretty awesome!) and let's make this a huge success for Postpartum Progress! Remember, my fundraising for Postpartum Progress ends on June 19th... so there's less than 3 months to make a big difference!!

Donation pledges for my upcoming half marathon are OPEN!

Alright guys, you can now pledge donations based on my race performance in next month's Destin Half Marathon on April 17!

Just click here and fill out the form, then you're good to go!


If you'd rather make a donation based on my running mileage (based on weekly or monthly amounts, you choose!), or if you'd like to make a one time normal donation, just click on the "Donate Now" page above to find the links for both of those!


Currently, I have ONE pledge and ONE donation (and the one donation is from me haha)... and while I am truly grateful for any amount and any help, I'd really like to see this project succeed... so go ahead, and fill out that form (or the mileage one), or go make a donation... If you truly cannot spare any money for a donation, then please share this blog on your social media accounts so that someone who wants to donate and can afford to might see it. :)


I didn't run today... my legs were a little tired from yesterday and though I know I could have done an easy run, we had errands to run and I want to do another speedwork run tomorrow on the treadmill so I'm saving my legs for that. Tomorrow will be my last run of March so it's your last chance to pledge a monthly donation for March! The link for that can be found on my donate page :)

Boom. Seven miles done.

I wanted to do a longer run today, but didn't have time to do a true "long run," so I set out to run about 4 miles on the roads, then hit the treadmill at our apartment complex fitness center for another couple miles, shooting for at least 6 miles.

I ended up feeling pretty good on the roads and there was still an overall good amount of cloud cover, so I managed to do a full 7 entirely on the roads.


It's amazing how much cooler weather helps!


During the half marathon a couple weeks ago, the weather went from almost certain storms during the race (to the point that it was nearly cancelled), to unrelenting sunshine the entire time; it was in the 70s less than an hour into the race!


Here's hoping my next half (on April 17) is much cooler!


 Speaking of, soon I will have the option for people to sign up to pledge a donation based on my  performance in my next half marathon!

In the mean time, be sure to click the donate button at the top to find the links where you can either make a one time donation, or pledge a donation based on my weekly or monthly mileage! :)

First tempo run in... a long time.

Let me tell you a secret:

I wish I was a faster runner.

Okay, so that isn't a secret... I'm fairly certain that's a mutual wish of nearly all runners.

Here's a better secret:

I wish I was a faster runner, but I suck at/dislike speed work.


When I go out to do "speed work," I usually end up doing something like, do a half-ass warm up for 5 minutes, during which I get nowhere close to being properly warmed up, go all out for as long as I can (read: an absolute max of two-tenths of a mile), walk to recover, go hard again (for about half the original distance), jog to recover (which means... walk twice as long as I ran), then decide it's time to cool down (which means, start out at a good cool down pace, then gradually pick it up because I want to be down... thereby not cooling down at all).

So uh... yeah... I'm not that great at it. At all.


I rarely do real quality speed or pace work because... I don't like it. I don't like being uncomfortable. I can do distance runs because, when I get uncomfortable, I can just slow down... pace doesn't matter, the distance does.

Not the case with speed work.

And with tempo runs? Pace and distance matter.

Well, shit.



In the past, I'd either not warm up fully, go out too fast, or give in to the first bit of discomfort and take a walk break, which would just ruin my rhythm for the whole run... It was usually the latter.


But today, with the help of a treadmill for pacing, I ran my first real, proper tempo run in years.


I looked up what my tempo pace should be based on my current 1 mile time, and I held that pace for 3 straight miles, with a good quality (read: slow and gentle) warm up mile beforehand, and then a nice cool down mile outside during a rare break in the rain.


So, that's another 5 miles, bringing my total mileage since I started Miles for Mothers to 8 miles. Not much, but I did start during a recovery week!

There's just 4 days left in March so if you want to pledge for the month (or for next week!), click HERE

Or, if you'd like to make a one time donation, rather than a pledge, you can go to my fundraising page HERE

A deeper look into my own PPD battle

The charities I plan to support with this project will all have motherhood as a common theme, but they will also have more specific connections for me personally.

My first charity, Postpartum Progress, helped me to find sources that led to me finally realizing that I was dealing with a real problem.

You see, even though I suffered from some "typical" PPD (postpartum depression) symptoms as well, my primary issue was my rage.
I didn't know that postpartum rage was a thing. When you see things about PPD you see a weeping  mother lying on the couch in three day old PJs, not attending to her child's needs... or simply going through the motions, completely unfeeling. You don't see the mom who slides back and forth daily from feeling unimaginable anger, directed at an infant no less, to sobbing with uncontrollable guilt.

That was my life for 14 months. Were there good days and moments? Of course. There were tons. Which was part of what made my realization that I truly had a problem all the more difficult: Again, my uneducated and stigmatized view of postpartum mood disorders had me believing that it had to be all or nothing, and since I wasn't in my dark place 100% of the time (I could go days and days without so much as a bad mood), I was convinced that I was fine.


Once I did realize my problem and began to seek out ways to help myself, I turned to creative ventures to try and get validate my experience and get my feelings out.

The following is a poem I wrote right around the time that I realized what I was going through; it is entitled "The Beast"

It crept up silently, slipping into the room between feedings and fits of sleep.

Or, maybe it had been there all along, lying in wait until it sensed weakness, my body's scent akin to that of a sick wildebeest.

It studied me from behind infatuated family, my vulnerability twitching its ears.

It pounced with its teeth bared, its jaws clamping down on my mind and my spirit; blissful thoughts bled from me, and it lapped up my happiness.

It stared at me as I fed my new daughter, snarling as if I cared for her only out of disdain for it, as if it was supposed to come first.

I didn't feel it brush up against me at night as it slowly drank more of me, my daughter at my leaking breast, it at my pounding heart, my racing mind.

I didn't notice its claws shredding my eyes, my vision skewed.

I never felt it mangle my ears, words forever twisted on their journey to my brain.

This beast gnawed, tore, ripped away every bit of me that should have glowed with all the maternal grace one could hold.

It fed on me, taking only just enough sustenance, never enough to leave me empty or aware.

Even now, wounds still shiny but healed, I sometimes feel hot breath down my neck; I don't know if the beast ever dies.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you, or someone you know, believes they may be suffering from a postpartum mood disorder, please seek help. You don't have to call a psychologist or psychiatrist right away if you aren't ready, but tell someone... let someone know what you are battling. No one should face this fight alone.  


If you want to help mothers get the support and resources they need for their postpartum mood disorders, visit the "Donate" page at the top. It contains links to either make a one time donation, or to pledge a donation amount based on my running mileage (for weekly or monthly totals).